On Raising Children

I have come to realize that those people that say that they "wouldn't trade anything in the world" for the experience they are having raising their children, have NOT had to raise a strong willed (Type 3/1) child.

Another common expression from doting mothers is "I live for these moments!"
When I say that, what I mean is: the only thing that keeps me going through those OTHER 6 days in the week is that one afternoon when we had an almost pleasant experience together where nothing was terribly destroyed, no one cried, and possibly both of us laughed and had fun.

The term "three-nager" has a more serious meaning at our house. It isn't just a cute occasional bit of sassy attitude. Oh no, it is a way of every day living. Seriously, I thought I had another 10 years. Everything is a battle. Every idea must be approved or screamed over. If her royal highness is actually well fed and rested, there is usually just a bit of screaming and stomping; however, if she is tired or hungry ( don't ever let it be both! ), you can very well expect much pain and anguish from all parties.

It's not a party.

I kind of thought that all parents were dealing with the same sort of "grumpiness." Then we started having more friends come over more often. And we had Chloe. Obviously, most kids do not behave the same for their parents as they do for strangers, but I still see so much more attitude from Claire than almost any other child her age.

Chloe has a completely different temperament than Claire. She is happy and content to sit and play alone as long as she has been fed and isn't tired. She is so much easier to please than Claire ever was.

But Claire's bad attitude is getting to even her.

Everyone at our house is a bit on edge lately. Claire always wants to play with friends and asking her to do anything else is criminal. Peter and I fear meal and bed times with her. And Chloe has started fussing so much at night any time she hears Claire scream. Ahhhh..... blessed sounds of bedtime.

So, there's the truth of it.

We've done time outs. We've done time ins. We've had plenty of one-on-one time. We've tried talking about our feelings. We have left her to work out her tantrums on her own. We've tried giving her more "real" consequences for her actions. We still have a "reward jar" going but it is really only working when she wants it to; if she is really in a bad mood, she just doesn't care if she earns or looses cotton balls.

So tell me, oh wise world wide web, what's a girl to do? 

 Do I just ignore it and hope that she one day grows out of it and all that wisdom and knowledge somehow seeps in?

And if so, what am I supposed to do until then? How do I find the motivation to keep going? This daily grind is really pushing me into dust.

The balancing act of my life is flawed.

Have you seen that triangle? There are 3 parts: Clean home, Happy kids, and Mom's Sanity. You are then instructed to choose only 2.
It's really not fair.
My sanity is very closely tied to our clean home. But if that isn't enough, our "grumpy" kids wear me down SO much that it just doesn't matter if our home is clean or not. I just never win.

So give me your best shot. How to discipline (or not) your strong willed child. Or how to manage to get through this incredibly trying time in a young growing girl's life.
Sympathies also welcomed.

A Welcomed Addition

On the morning of Wednesday, April 23rd I woke up at about 2am, 3am, and 4am before I decided to give up and start checking facebook even though my alarm wasn't set to go off until 4:30am. I haven't used an alarm in a very long while. I figured that I might be like my mom and sleep soundly knowing that my alarm would wake me up in time to get ready. Obviously, this was not so.
We were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 6:15am, but first we had to call at 5:30 to make sure there was an open room for us. So accounting for 15minutes of travel time and my typical 15 minute shower time, I figured that I needed to be up and going before 5am.
And despite being up early, we were STILL 5 minutes late getting there!

It was really strange for me to be going to the hospital knowing that we would walk out again with a baby. Stranger still because I wasn't in labor yet.
Yes, Chloe's birth was a scheduled induction. I was highly medicated. I chose to do this, and my reasons were selfish. But I'm glad I did.
My mom came out to stay with us for the birth and to help with Claire. Her visit straddled Chloe's due date. So to make sure that my mom could be here to meet the baby and help with Claire, I opted to have an induction.
I was scared. I  knew that my body could go into labor spontaneously without intervention, but here I was, intervening. I also read some things about the risks. I should have chosen a better source for my information than a pro-natural birth site. The writer just seemed angry and made assumptions and judgments that I found offensive. This made my choice to be induced feel like I was disappointing a whole bunch of people and like I wasn't giving our baby what she needed.

But the pregnancy had progressed for 40 weeks and what I  needed was for my mom to be there for me and for Claire.

So, we walked into the hospital, bags in hand, at 6:20. The nurses were so happy and excited for us. We got into the room and settled in for a big day.

Before they started the pitocin, I thought I had a few contractions. With Claire, I went into labor
the day after her due date. It just so happened that my doctor's son was getting married the weekend after Chloe's due date so postponing the induction wasn't a good option for him.

We started the pitocin between 6:30 and 7am and then we tried to get some rest. Having now been on both sides of labor, I can see why some people say an induced labor is harder. There is no build up to the contractions. The timing of contractions is controlled almost entirely by the medication. This made them come on quickly and strong. For me though, that was the only thing that was "harder."

While we waited my mom sent us picture updates of Claire as they waited at home for good news.

Being the pansy that I am, I chose to have an epidural. My doctor said we would wait until I was 3-4 cm dilated to be given the epidural. With Claire, I was already at 5cm when I got to the hospital. Waiting to get to 4 cm with Chloe seemed like an eternity!

When the anesthesiologist first tried to poke me he didn't put his finger on first and I flinched a LOT. My back is SUPER ticklish. And the touch of a cold needle isn't really cozy.

But no worries, nothing bad happened. He did tell me that he thinks I have a slight scoliosis in my back. Nothing serious or noticeable until you try to put a needle in the space between vertebrae.

So all this time that we are waiting for the contractions to do their work, I was trying to rest. It was made difficult by the nurses coming in every few minutes because the monitors were beeping about the baby's heartbeat being too low. So I was given oxygen and moved and re-positioned many many times.

Progress seemed slow for a long time, but that last hour and last 4 cm went surprisingly quickly!
3 pushes later we met our tiny blonde baby girl, Chloe Elisabeth.

She had a hard time warming up so we had some skin-to-skin time for a while between heating lamp sessions.

Gigi and Chloe

Just look at that grin! She was so happy to meet her little sister!

World changer!

I wish I had thought to record the conversation when I thought to ask her, but I totally just rocked Claire's world!

She asked where her hot dog went
I said, in her belly.

Then I had a genius idea!

Me: Claire, do you think mommy ate Chloe?
C: no!
Me: She's in my belly. How did she get there?
C: blank stare then lots of giggles!

Being Sick and Getting things Done

This week started off pretty rough.
Sunday night Claire had a fever and had a really tough time sleeping that night. So she ended up in our bed.

Monday Claire's fever kept up and she had serious tummy issues. That evening we gave Claire some tylenol. She slept almost through the night and by morning, her fever was gone!

It was a good thing Peter took her out to build a snowman before she got sick!
Really, she just likes to eat the snow off of her gloves. :-)

Peter has been super busy at work trying to balancing putting in extra hours to finish the product and my need for him to be here for Claire duty. Bless that poor man.

On Saturday Peter did his presentation on electronic components for the train club he participates in. He said it went well, but there were a lot of questions he hadn't anticipated. He learned a lot. He did a run through of the presentation with me and it seemed pretty neat. He also bought parts and boards for everyone at the meeting to practice on.

Friday Claire and I made cupcakes. She has been asking me to make Pinkalicious cupcakes for a while now. So we whipped up a box of lemon cupcakes. But the batter was so yellow that I was afraid they would be orange if I tried to make them pink. I think total she has eaten one MINI cupcake. I didn't even get around to frosting them, and she still only eats the tops.

Then that night Peter and I dropped Claire off at our cousin's house and headed out for a date at Rodizio's Brazilian Grill. MMMMMMMmmmmm. My only regret is that, being pregnant, I can't stuff myself nearly as full as I may have liked to. Probably a good thing!

Right now one of Claire's favorite things is going to friend's houses! She just loves playing with other little kids, or at least, I think that's what she does. When I'm still around she is always just standing to the side watching. But I guess whatever goes on, it makes her happy.

Through the week I've just been working on maintaining the house chores on a regular, almost daily basis.

We even got around to washing the car. Claire was a little scared, but fascinated.

And that was our week.

'Tis the Season: December in Review

The month of December got off to a bit of a rocky start with the news that Peter's boss, Dale Smith, had gone missing while flying a couple of his kids home after Thanksgiving.

The next week I got sick and then Claire got sick and then Peter was sick.

I stayed sick for about 2 weeks. Peter and Claire were a bit luckier and recovered in a couple of days. I guess I paved the way to health.
The cold definitely put a damper on household chores and things like, dinner.

We went to Hogle Zoo to see the Zoo Lights.

We went and saw a Christmas production of El Bandito in SLC. We left at intermission.

We went to our ward Christmas party.

We went to the River Woods Mall to see Santa. Claire was SO excited to see Santa and tell him all about the toys she wanted for Christmas. That is, up until Santa actually arrived. Then she just hid in Daddy's shoulder while Santa asked about her Christmas list.

We went to Peter's family's annual Christmas party.

And amid that I had my 20 week OB appointment. Everything is looking good and there was no heart arrhythmia this time. So yay!

My parents came to stay with us on Monday. That night I made pizza, Peter, Claire, and I delivered our Christmas treats to friends, and then we all took the Front-runner train downtown to see the lights on Temple Square. Unfortunately on the ride home, the train we were waiting 15 minutes for in the cold was decommissioned. In the 30 minute wait for the next train, three more groups of travelers arrived off of the TRAX line. It was a VERY crowded train ride, not to mention REALLY late. We didn't get home till after 11pm. My poor parents were exhausted from their long travels and the late night. And poor Claire was finally showing signs of seriously needing sleep. That girl will just keep going if you let her.

We had many Chick-fil-a seasonal Peppermint Shakes and plenty of cookies. We played with nativities, went shopping for Christmas presents, and sent party invitations.

We hosted the Jenson family Christmas party.

It was so much fun having all of my family at our house! We were able to fit everyone in a bed and almost in their own rooms! It is so much different when you are housing visitors. I feel so--like an official home owner now! haha.

Our month has been full of friends, family, fun, and tradition.

Thanksgiving, Family, Black Friday, & Decorating

As previously mentioned, we went to the doctor on Wednesday and had an ultrasound. We found out that we are having another girl. The sonogram that shows that it is a girl was apparently taken from a weird angle. I seriously cannot tell that those little dots are not toes. So... hmmph.

That night my brother, Nick, came to stay with us. Claire really likes Nick. We had dinner while Peter worked late in preparation for the extended weekend. Peter came home and cleaned out and rearranged the garage some more so that we could fit a second car inside. We are currently borrowing his dad's car for commuting while he is in China. So we needed the drive way space seeing as no one is allowed to park on the streets from 12a-5am. Peter also installed the TV antenna in our attic. Hooray!

Thursday was fun and relaxed. We woke up and ate hot chocolate and toast for breakfast with strawberries and Cutie oranges. Then we watched the parade after Peter did a bit more tweaking with the antenna. I made sweet potato casserole--mandatory Thanksgiving side dish. And we headed to Aunt Jana's for Thanksgiving dinner with some of my extended family--and my brother.

Claire became obsessed with Grandma "teasing" her. She loved chasing.

Aunt Jana had gingerbread houses ready for us to decorate. Claire was only interested in the candy.

She loves playing with her uncles too.

That night Peter ventured out to Walmart at 6pm to try and buy some movies for cheap. He left without buying anything after realizing that I was right about the ridiculously long wait to check out.

Phillipa and Francesco arrived around 7:30p to have a movie night with us. They stayed over too so that they could get up with Claire the next morning if we were still out shopping.

Nick and I went to the Outlet Mall across the freeway at midnight because I mistakenly thought it opened then rather than 9pm when it actually opened. We got some sweet deals on outerwear!

Then at 4:20am Peter and I went to Home Depot to wait in line for the 5am opening. We fortunately got our Christmas tree that we were hoping for! It's a 7.5' Denison Fir with DUAL color/warm white LED lights that we bought for $70. The entire stock was gone within 10 minutes of opening the doors. Peter also bought a really versatile extension ladder for cheap. Home Depot was actually a great place to shop. It wasn't terribly over crowded and the workers were SO GREAT. All of the lanes were open in addition to people standing by with scanners to check you out wherever you happened to be standing. We stood in line outside--about 1/3 of the way back from the doors--and ate and drank the complimentary hot chocolate and donuts while we watched The Santa Clause 3 for 30 minutes in the cold. We were done and in the car again by 5:20am. Awesome and worthwhile trip for great savings!

We then headed next door to Walmart to see if there was anything left. We scored some great deals on various toys and games. By this time, the store was pretty much deserted. There were carts, in various locations, stuffed full of random items, and some of the shelves were in serious need of reorganizing. But we found some great stuff and were home just after 6am.

I made bacon and pancakes for breakfast and then everyone started leaving. Peter played with Claire
while I took a much needed 2 hour nap until 9:30 when Russell and Lis showed up after their adventures in Black Friday Shopping.

We went back out to fix a purchase and found a coupon on our car for Pizza Pie Cafe when we got back. So me, being pregnant, of course had to have pizza after such a suggestion! So we went to lunch.

And that was our Thanksgiving holiday week.

It's a BABY!

I was a little behind in getting the last two posts up because I'm already back to alleviate your itch of curiosity!

We're having another little GIRL!!!

She looks like she'll be right on time--April 23rd.

All of her parts are there. Today there was a bit of a murmur in her heart beat, but there's a good chance that that will clear up as she grows bigger and stronger.

We have no idea what we're going to name her. That was probably the only disappointment. We still have our boy name picked out from last time around, so that would have been really easy. But now...the search begins!

I don't know what I'm going to do with two little girls! I don't know how to handle girl squabbles. Heck, I don't know how to handle boy squabbles!

As for the Mama, 
I'm doing GREAT! I really don't feel like I'm pregnant.
Symptoms include:

• Cravings of anything at the mention of almost any food
• Can't stand even the thought of eggs--hard boiled doesn't sound too bad though
• Overly Emotional--there's a good chance I'll cry at anything
• Non-oily hair--I usually wash my hair every 2 days, but lately it's been a few more, and I don't think it looks that bad!
• Really tired every day
• Overly anxious about getting things done (nesting)--cleaning, organizing, buying everything we need all at once because I can't stand the thought of having to try to remember it later. Which brings me to the next point
• Pregnancy Brain--forgetting how to use the English language correctly and just generally forgetting lots of stuff
• I've graduated to my pregnancy pants/yoga pants almost every day
• Running to the bathroom quite frequently

So really there isn't anything terrible going on right now. I just take naps every day with Claire and get up in the middle of the night to pee.

This is probably the biggest reason I thought we were having a boy; this pregnancy has been SO different from the last one--very relaxed.

So here is a side by side of me at 19 weeks. I'll let you guess which one is now and then! :-)

Until Next Time!
Happy Thanksgiving!

November

Why Hello November!
I guess it's almost gone now so it's time I update the blog again.

Home ownership is busy!
We have now blown through all of the money we saved up for the last 3 years for home buying. "Where did it go?" you ask? So do I!
With several thousands of dollars we bought:

• A yard, sprinkler system, and the labor to landscape and install all of it
• Blinds
• Appliances (Dishwasher, Fridge, Stove/Oven, Microwave, Washer, and Dryer)
• Dinning Table with 4 chairs and a Bench (seats 8-10 when extended)
• Claire's "built-in" shelves and bench
• La-Z-Boy rocking chair

And that's all. So you look at our house and it doesn't look very furnished or finished, but it at least has all the basic necessities. For the most part we tried to buy quality items that will last and so far, so good! There is at least one last big purchase pending: built-ins for the living room. We're waiting for our tax return for that one. Our most recent purchase though was a couch set. We were looking at buying something new, but gosh! Couches are expensive. So I checked KSL Classifieds and found a set for a little less than half the price. The guy selling the couches had only owned them 6 months, and actually, unfortunately for him but great for us, he suffers from an OCD cleaning disorder. So the couches are in GREAT condition! (for now) We borrowed Phillipa's truck  to bring them home ridiculously late at night, so no one was out and about to help Peter bring them inside. I helped him drag them off the truck into the garage--like 3 feet. They are a sage green/gray. I really like them a lot. In the other guy's apartment they looked more gray than green, but in our house they look more green. Which is slightly unfortunate because I was really going for a white, blue, and gray look in the living room, and when I put anything blue near the couch, it just looks MORE green. So... green tones it is.Oh well. Not the end of the world.

What do you think, Kady? Is there any way to have my teal/blue, white, and gray color scheme with a green gray couch?

Our front room now holds the old couch:

So my days are full of entertaining Claire, crafting, cleaning, cooking, and babysitting. Then on the weekends Peter tries to knock off a few items from his never ending project list. We're constantly clearing out and rearranging the garage. Things tend to build up there.

But honestly, with all this stuff to do, most evenings, once Claire has gone to bed, all we want to do is die on the couch and watch TV.

I've been going to a chiropractor for a few weeks now, and I really feel so much better!  I hadn't realized that I was living with so much pain! I still need to work on strengthening my back muscles, but the doctor says that will have to wait until after the baby comes. Meh. Ok by me!

My next OBGYN appointment is on Wednesday(today!). We start the day off with an ultrasound which will hopefully show us what our baby's gender is! We are super excited. Peter says he wants another girl to save on costs, but I know he wants a little boy. He says it doesn't matter if it is a boy or not though because Claire already loves trains. :-)

Events that occurred recently:

Last Saturday (Nov. 16) I finally got around to doing a project that I've been planning for the last THREE YEARS involving felt, pom poms, and hot glue and I seriously burned the palm of my hand. I had just put glue on a pom pom when Claire came over WAVING her hands at me about something obviously important and I dropped the pom pom right into the palm of my left hand. It hurt SO BAD. I got a huge blister--between the size of a dime and nickle. Yeah... I cried too. And the rest of the day Claire kept saying, "no! Mama not sad! Claire kiss it better. Be happy!" She was very concerned that I should always be happy. One week later the blister is gone and replaced by what appears to be a weird scab-like callus. I'm thinking I should have released the pressure so the skin may have returned to normal. So I probably  now have a permanent reminder of a bit of crafting foolishness.

The next day (Sunday Nov. 17) our ward split. We still overflow into the gym, but only half of the gym is full now instead of all of it. (It isn't a full sized gym, but there are two basketball hoops. The 3-point line is a few feet away from the would-be half-court line.) So this week and next week we only have sacrament meeting while the presidencies and teachers are called. Our meeting time changed too to accommodate all the wards in the building (4). We made the switch for the year so our new meeting time of 1:30 will last all through next year. Right during Claire's nap time. I've been forcing her to continue her naps daily, and I'm really afraid that this will be the beginning of the end of Claire's afternoon naps. Oh well!

Friday Nov. 22 I had 5 kids at my house (including Claire). 2 three year olds, 2 two year olds, and 1 one and a half year old. Oh my goodness. It was a couple hours of crazy here. It really wasn't bad until we got out the food. I have no idea how to feed that many kids. There were many spills, a few tears, and several messes, but we all got through and all were fed.

Saturday we went to one of Claire's friend's birthday party. She turned 3 and Clarie now thinks that she is three so that she can have a birthday. She's really excited about having a birthday. She's also a bit excited about Santa this year. Super fun!


And Sunday Peter and I hung some pictures/calendars on the walls. We have quite a few large spaces to fill and now 3 are down. Then in the evening we went to Peter's mom's house to celebrate Phillipa's and Francesco's birthdays with dinner. Claire had a hot dog and lots of olives and pickles. The rest of us enjoyed potatoes and raclette. In case you are unfamiliar, it is a Swiss cheese fondue. Yum. Honestly, it smells kinda funny while it's melting, but tastes amazing.

And that is everything interesting that we've been up to.

Claire the 2 year old

Claire has really started talking and understanding and repeating a lot more. She not only repeats exact phrases, but also sentence structure and ideas, making them all her own.

Some of my favorite things that she says right now:

"Paw-pa-bly do dat"
or
 Probably Do That

"Oh! No, no. SA-wee" (capitalization=emphasis)
or
Oh! No, no. Sorry! Which is NOT an admission of guilt or sorrow, but rather an indication that something went wrong and you should be saying, "sorry."

"SISsy MAma!" said with much sass, a smile, and shaking her head.
or
Silly Mama!

She's also been spending time practicing saying "mommy" and "daddy" (as opposed to "mama" and "dada" which she has always said up until about a week ago despite our constant use of "mommy" and "daddy.") It is funny that she has finally made the switch because I had finally resigned myself to the idea that she was just always going to call us "mama" and "dada" and that was ok. We had started referring to ourselves that way too, and then one day she just starts singing "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over again just to hear me say, "yes, Claire-bear?"

Claire also REALLY likes to make lists. I don't know if she would say so if you asked her, but if you ever ask her a question, it is almost always answered with a list. If she forgets what she is talking about or runs out of actual answers, she will just start naming things that she sees as she's looking around the room (ie. towel, cup of water, flowers).

She has started putting one hand on her hip sometimes. I can't say the exact situations, but she does it appropriately. It's really funny.

 Every day she gets up on her step stool and unloads the silverware for us.
And she cleans up her toys when asked--sometimes it takes a bit of encouragement.
She loves routines and will do almost everything better if it is part of the routine or at least expected.
I make her take a nap every day after lunch time. We both take naps after lunch time.
And I really need to buy a gate to put in her door way so that we can take the front railing off of her crib. She hasn't started crawling out, she just stands and whines at us when she's done sleeping, but I need to train her to sleep in a regular bed so we can use the crib for another little person in April!

Claire says she doesn't want a brother or a sister. She doesn't want to be a big sister. She just always wants to be a baby. That's what she thinks.

She also LOVES jumping. If we put a trampoline in our basement (like all smart people around her apparently do) she would be entertained for probably an hour every day without me!

She still loves tea parties. She will definitely bring you tea and any other "snack" for a good 30 minutes if you are accommodating.

And that's a bit about Claire right now.

BOO!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Here's a picture of my two loves heading out to trick-or-treat! Sofia the First and Steve Jobs.

 

Claire was SO excited to get dressed up and go trick-or-treating when daddy came home. I waited until after her nap to tell her that she would be going trick-or-treating. It was my incentive to get her to practice saying "trick-or-treat."

This picture is just adorable!

And here is the after trick-or-treating:

Claire's "smile"

 

Obviously, we've been pretty busy over here for the last couple of months with birthdays and parties and MOVING and now unpacking. We are finally at a place where I'm not compelled to unpack a box each day. So I can start blogging again--hopefully regularly.

So here's a virtual tour, through pictures, of the main living areas of our house--the downstairs.

Here's the front of our house--with grass!--all decorated for the big day! Until this afternoon there were only pumpkins on the front porch and a mummy door. Now there is caution tape, spiders and spider webs, and jack-o-lanterns! And a cute little girl ready to go trick-or-treating.

And would you look at that porch!

Would you like a close up of the carvings?

BOO!
Did you get it?
Are you surprised?

I'm already 15 weeks along. It hasn't been too terribly difficult keeping the secret because I don't really have good friends to talk to about that sort of thing here yet. But that has also been the hardest part, not joking about/complaining about the worst part of being pregnant. One friend said she liked waiting to tell people because then those people weren't bugging her so long about "how much longer" she would be pregnant. I dunno. I got bored of not telling people. I'm ready to be excited about having a baby!
Sometimes it's still unreal. Last time I was SO eager. This time, now that I'm feeling better, I've pretty much forgotten that I'm pregnant until I hear that little heartbeat at the doctor's office!

Another factor in us choosing to wait to tell people (mostly just me) was that we know at least 5 other people or more who are having babies early next year--a few of them in April. So I thought we could wait and try to be less white noise in the baby announcing frenzy.

But enough about that. Here's the rest of the house.

 The first room on the right as you enter the house. This is the music room and library. This is also where I'm storing all of our boxes of pictures.

Claire's window stickies in that room.

The stairs are next.

The door to the left of the stairs leads to the basement.

 On the wall opposite the stairs and basement are the coat closet and then powder bathroom.

Straight ahead is the living room.

 To the left is the tech center, dining area, and kitchen.

And the mess of toys in between the two areas.

Off of the kitchen is the mudroom/garage entrance.

And here is my kitchen. To the left of the fridge is my pantry door. It currently stays closed. :-/

I honestly haven't had much trouble keeping the counters "clean." Generally I like it clutter free, but I am also referring to crumbs and marks. I only wipe the whole thing down once a week or so (it's a lot of counter to wipe!). I do big spills as the come.

So there it is. All of the exciting things happening over here are all out now! Hooray! Yay for the holidays!