On Raising Children

I have come to realize that those people that say that they "wouldn't trade anything in the world" for the experience they are having raising their children, have NOT had to raise a strong willed (Type 3/1) child.

Another common expression from doting mothers is "I live for these moments!"
When I say that, what I mean is: the only thing that keeps me going through those OTHER 6 days in the week is that one afternoon when we had an almost pleasant experience together where nothing was terribly destroyed, no one cried, and possibly both of us laughed and had fun.

The term "three-nager" has a more serious meaning at our house. It isn't just a cute occasional bit of sassy attitude. Oh no, it is a way of every day living. Seriously, I thought I had another 10 years. Everything is a battle. Every idea must be approved or screamed over. If her royal highness is actually well fed and rested, there is usually just a bit of screaming and stomping; however, if she is tired or hungry ( don't ever let it be both! ), you can very well expect much pain and anguish from all parties.

It's not a party.

I kind of thought that all parents were dealing with the same sort of "grumpiness." Then we started having more friends come over more often. And we had Chloe. Obviously, most kids do not behave the same for their parents as they do for strangers, but I still see so much more attitude from Claire than almost any other child her age.

Chloe has a completely different temperament than Claire. She is happy and content to sit and play alone as long as she has been fed and isn't tired. She is so much easier to please than Claire ever was.

But Claire's bad attitude is getting to even her.

Everyone at our house is a bit on edge lately. Claire always wants to play with friends and asking her to do anything else is criminal. Peter and I fear meal and bed times with her. And Chloe has started fussing so much at night any time she hears Claire scream. Ahhhh..... blessed sounds of bedtime.

So, there's the truth of it.

We've done time outs. We've done time ins. We've had plenty of one-on-one time. We've tried talking about our feelings. We have left her to work out her tantrums on her own. We've tried giving her more "real" consequences for her actions. We still have a "reward jar" going but it is really only working when she wants it to; if she is really in a bad mood, she just doesn't care if she earns or looses cotton balls.

So tell me, oh wise world wide web, what's a girl to do? 

 Do I just ignore it and hope that she one day grows out of it and all that wisdom and knowledge somehow seeps in?

And if so, what am I supposed to do until then? How do I find the motivation to keep going? This daily grind is really pushing me into dust.

The balancing act of my life is flawed.

Have you seen that triangle? There are 3 parts: Clean home, Happy kids, and Mom's Sanity. You are then instructed to choose only 2.
It's really not fair.
My sanity is very closely tied to our clean home. But if that isn't enough, our "grumpy" kids wear me down SO much that it just doesn't matter if our home is clean or not. I just never win.

So give me your best shot. How to discipline (or not) your strong willed child. Or how to manage to get through this incredibly trying time in a young growing girl's life.
Sympathies also welcomed.

How to travel by plane with a toddler

Toddlers have very short attention spans. Claire can probably last a maximum of 20 minutes of playing or watching on her own. Then she gets bored and needs me to tell her what to do next.
So when preparing for what I thought was a 4 hour flight (actually only 2.5 hours) I turned to Pinterest and the internet for ideas that are small and portable to occupy approximately 10 20-minute attention blocks. Almost all of these ideas came from THIS blog post, but I did come up with some on my own, even if the do overlap. Great minds think alike, right?
(I stopped hoping Claire would sleep on the plane when she was 6 months old. She has to be exhausted to fall asleep anywhere but her bed.)

So we start with a plug for buying a separate seat for the kid. Totally worth the money to have Claire in her car seat. Maybe it was because she is older now, but she didn't fight being in the seat like she has as a lap child. She knew that the carseat was for her to sit in and that she was expected to stay there because it was familiar to her.

Transporting the carseat to the gate can be a little tricky without planning. I've seen the special wheeled carseats they sell at baby stores. I've also seen the attachments you can buy to turn your carseat into a wheeled, traveling seat. Those are really expensive options. I do most-who am I kidding- all of my shopping research on Amazon.com which is where I found the alternative to a wheeled carseat attachment. Rather than trying to drag along a carseat, luggage, and carry-on, one genius entrepreneur invented a strap system to attach the car seat to the luggage you are already carrying. Hallelujah! This alternative cost only $10-16 on Amazon.com. The review page for this product is where I found the solution that I used.
I went to the notions wall at JoAnn's and found the largest D-ring possible. It came in a pack of two for $3.49. I bought it using a 40% off coupon.

My small roller bag is directly behind (attached) to the car seat. My purse/diaper bag is on top of the luggage and inside of the car seat is Claire's bag which has a couple books inside. 

So for $2 I used the D ring to attach the car seat to my carry-on roller bag using the LATCH system straps that are built into all current car seat models. Two go around the sides (attach them to the ring) and the top strap goes under the handle, over the top of the bag and connects to the ring. Be sure to tighten firmly.


Make sure that your car seat is airline approved. It will be written in red on a sticker on the side that says "this child restraint is certified for use in motor vehicles and aircraft."


Now for my attention keeping tricks and toys.
Remember: I was going for small items so my bag could 1) fit MORE and 2) not weigh a ton.

Weekly medicine tracker: This is a you that I have used since Claire was about a year old. I fill the little cups with large buttons and pompoms and snacks. Claire has fun opening each if the pockets and rearranging the items. Some people contest this idea because you are teaching your child to open a medicine container. I don't have a problem with it because we don't use them to hold medicine in our house. Please use your own discretion though. If it doesn't seem like a smart idea to you, don't do it.

Pipe cleaners: twisty, bendy fun with endless possibilities. They are soft to touch and you can build all sorts of things. Use it for color practice, or build shapes and practice shape or letter recognition. You can also use them to practice threading.

Yarn and colored noodles: work those fine motor skills by making necklaces and bracelets. Then extend the play by playing dress up afterward. Tape or burn the ends of the yarn to prevent raveling. Knot one end to keep "beads" from falling off. Color noodles in ziplock bags using a few drops of food coloring and 2 tablespoons of rubbing alcohol. Mix then pour onto paper towels over cookie sheets. Allow to dry then play or repackage. FYI--the noodles count as "yellow" so consider that when mixing colors, such as purple, which turns brown when combined with yellow.

Play dough: Just a little bit can make snakes and balls galore!

Painters tape: it challenges little fingers in gripping and tearing. It is fun to cover magazines and screens in bits of tape and reveal small parts again.

Books: I brought a few small books which Claire read over a over again. Make book time last longer by asking questions about the story or pictures. Search for common objects through the book. Identify colors, characters, and shapes.
Claire had a seek and find book, lift the flap and trace the letters, and counting, opposites, colors, and shapes books.

Color wonder markers and book: coloring is always good for at least ten minutes.

Sticker book: once again, fine motor skills challenge

Lots of snacks including individually wrapped candies like kisses, rolos, taffy, or tootsie rolls. They take time to open and to eat.
I also put her snacks in an embroidery floss organizer that I found at Walmart for less than $3. It was fun to open and sort through the different sections.

Digital camera: let the little one take control and see what they see as they use the camera with careful supervision. You can also do lots of selfies. Make funny faces, sad faces, and happy faces. Turn it into a lesson about emotions.

Buckles: buy a buckle bear or make a buckle page. I don't know of anything Claire likes better than to do buckles herself.

Bubbles: I, personally, didn't do this, but you could take a small tube of bubbles (like the wedding kind or some from the party gift bag stuffing section) and blow a few. They aren't terribly intrusive if you do it right. Just try to be respectful of other patrons.

Legos: These are great for open play. They are fun to put together in countless ways and offer a slight challenge for small fingers. We used the Lego Duplos.

And last, but not least, a video player and noise canceling headphones. Claire LOVES Mickey Mouse, so I have invested in a couple of the DVDs which I bring on the plane via our tablet. They are just long enough to keep her attention and give me a little rest.  We have Panasonic headphones, and I think they are great. They combat the Nexus overly-quiet headphone range beautifully.

One thing that might be good to have is a tray of some sort because the one on the airplane doesn't work with a carseat.

And those are all of the ideas that I found and used for our trip. I would say it was the most pleasant flight that I can remember taking with Claire.

The End of May

What an exciting week we've had!
We couldn't have asked for more perfect weather for Memorial Day!
There are a lot pictures here so I put in some collages to make things a bit more simple.
(In case you're wondering, I used fotor.com--completely free and easy)

Trains
Peter had the day off and we took the opportunity to go and see trains! (What else, seriously?)
We drove up to Heber to look try to catch a glimpse of Thomas the Train at the Heber Valley Railroad. We ended up paying to enter the impromptu fair to play with the toys and enjoy more of the train atmosphere.

Claire got a balloon shaped like a flower and she LOVED playing with the trains.

She has also added the words "Tahta" (Thomas) and "choo choo" (train) to her vocabulary. Cute.

We then went to dinner at Dairy Keen where everything screams trains! They have a Thomas model train running around the ceiling of the restaurant and a Harry Potter themed train scene inside of a huge fish tank. Their menu is train themed and so are the workers' outfits. They also have "best-in-state milkshakes." Yum. We tried the nutella and "thinnest mint" (like Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mints).

Cousins
On Friday Claire's cousins came over to Grandma's house while their parents went to a wedding.

It kinda felt like the house exploded. Those of you with multiple children, I hope you have dedicated play rooms!

This little ham was super shy at first. Then she decided that I was "mom" and didn't like Claire getting my attention. She was a little aggressive, but in a normal 2 year old kinda way.

I convinced them to play together. Claire was nervous at first--she had been pushed down one too many times :-) And as long as Claire didn't touch the blocks Erica wanted, everything was perfect.

They soon became friends and began a game of "do as I'm doing" which lasted through the weekend.

That evening I took their family pictures. I think we got some really cute shots.

Breakfast
Saturday morning we all headed down to the church where our ward held their annual June breakfast. This was the first time Claire had gotten her face painted. Claire also had a blast running around after all of the kids and weaving her way back to her parents through the crowd.

Her model pose and clips of her running away.Great game!

She also got to play with knobs and stand inside of a firetruck.

A progression of Claire's smile:

Birthday
That evening we had a surprise birthday party for Constance! Phillipa planned the whole thing so that Lydia and her family could participate before they traveled home again.
Dinner Guests:

Franccesco made dinner: gnocci.
And he brought gellato :-)

I made cake.

Claire did better with Erica this time. They had a blast burning off the sugar by jumping and running around in circles.

Claire also kept holding her hands up with her palms together (like in the bottom right picture here) and saying "cheese!" as she ran around the kitchen, living room, and dining room.
Oh to be almost two!

Best Week Ever!

I'd just like to say that I have the best little family EVER!
My husband is amazing and spoils me as much as possible.
And our daughter is beyond cute! She says the darndest things and has such a fun and happy way of living!
This week was just perfect!

Today
Peter and I had to give talks in church today so several of my nights this past week were filled with reading, studying, and writing in bed. It actually felt kind of nice to be researching and writing again. I didn't realize how much I missed that part of college! (gross right?!) Seriously though, I fell right back into the swing of my paper writing routine, except that this time, I started early! I started on Tuesday and this paper wasn't due till Sunday! Go me! I'll have you know, everything was typed and printed a whole 30 minutes before church started this morning! Yeah...

Claire helping to write my talk.

But it seriously is a huge improvement from my last talk. My last talk was maybe 8 minutes long. I maybe could have stretched it to 10 if I didn't talk so fast because I was so nervous. This time I managed to speak an entire 20 minutes! And Peter said I got going too fast for a bit too. But I learned something from that 8 minute talk.

I cannot wing it.
I cannot just write down basic ideas and start talking about it freely.

So this time I wrote a whole 10 page paper. It was the easiest and quickest 10 pages I have ever written. Let's hear it for a lifetime of knowledge and the Holy Ghost bringing it all to my remembrance coming through for a win! So yes, I read my entire talk. But I wrote it exactly like I would say it--that's just how I roll. And I looked up at the audience frequently. And I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously in a tick-like fashion. : )  (I've picked up a few things from living with Peter ; -) )

But it was all heart-felt and honest. I talked about Living Prophets and Revelation and Peter talked about Personal Revelation. I loved my topic because all I had to do was remember everything awesome about General Conference. And how awesome is General Conference?!

Check out Pres. Uchtdorf! He's probably winking at his wife! :)

So that was today.

We'll just go backwards now.

Yesterday, Saturday
We bought appliances for our house!
Yeah, our house comes with appliances, but we didn't like what was offered through our builder, so we went with the standard included appliances and upgraded them separately. We'll have the appliances of our choosing delivered and installed once we have closed on the house--hopefully at the end of August! We bought them this weekend though because typically Memorial Day Weekend is the best time to get great deals on appliances.
And we did!
We bought a french door fridge, slide-in gas range, above the stove microwave, dishwasher, and washer and dryer for about $6,000 including taxes and some installation.
It is hard giving away so much money!
We have been saving a TON for so long now that I feel REALLY poor.
But it's an exchange, right? Money for appliances. Money for house.

For kitchen appliances we went with the Frigidaire Gallery line in stainless steel.

I found this picture on Amazon.

This isn't my kitchen, but it's almost exactly what my kitchen will look like. My floor will be wood and my counter top is a bit darker gray. My fridge is also the TEENIEST bit different, but I only know this because we almost bought this model. We actually decided on the newer one. Beautiful right?! Seriously, my husband spoils me.

For our washer and dryer we were torn between a Maytag (just like yours mom!) and LG set that were both on sale for great prices. We settled on the LG because, according to Consumer Reports (thanks for the help Dad!), they have a better repair rate and are less noisy than the Maytag. Our laundry room is on the second floor with the bedrooms so vibration and noise were a concern for us. We didn't get the pedestals.

LG TurboWash Series WM3070HWA--incase you're wondering.
Picture from http://www.ajmadison.com

Friday
Peter took the morning off from work to come to the last day of Baby Animal Days at This Is The Place Heritage Park with me and Claire.
What a PERFECT day!
It was cool outside, but the sun was warm. We got there just as the park opened so it wasn't crowded at all. Claire loved petting all of the animals and naming the ones she knew. She thought a lot of them were funny and said "uh oh!" a lot as they were pushing each other out of the way to eat their breakfasts at the stalls.

It's a good thing Peter was there because I do NOT catch baby chicks. I was definitely scared. Haha. I know. Lame.

The whole experience reminded Peter that he wants goats and a chicken coop. Not happening.
Claire really wanted to look closely at the ponies, but once she got close she wouldn't let go of my neck. Her "pony ride" was a little embarrassing. Thank goodness hardly anyone was there and no one was waiting in line after us.

This is her screaming "no" as I tried to get her to let go of my neck.

Claire really liked milking this "cow." It dripped a bit of water when you squeezed it, but I think it was mostly empty.

One of the streets had a little village of small children's houses. Claire loved opening and closing the doors and banging on the little windows to look at mommy and daddy. Peter is determined to design and build one for Claire.

All Week
Peter worked late and left early nearly every day this week to try and get a product working. He's had some successes and some set backs, but mostly progress. The hardest part about it is that his boss had no idea he'd been putting in so many hours. Downside of working remotely.

We also tried, once again, to potty train Claire.

Once again, it went well for the first two days until she started saying "no!"
I think she has a serious fear of pooping in the toilet. She doesn't say as much, but she always denies needing to go or having had an accident when it comes to number 2.
So I have once again given up and am officially waiting until after we move into our own house. Oh well.
I kind of feel like I wasted a lot of time and effort. But I'm trying to find a different way of looking at it.
Meh.

On the plus side, we found a way to get Claire to go to sleep without crying, again! For a few weeks she reverted back to melting down EVERY NIGHT when we left her room. She was also determined to only go to bed with Mommy. What usually happened was I would put her down to bed; 5-10 minutes later she would start crying, and Peter would go in and quickly tell her goodnight and lie her down again, and she would go to sleep. This graduated to a cycle of crying and soothing for 30 minutes and sometimes up to an hour. When the crying started carrying over into nap time, I decided something had to be done. (She usually is happy to take a nap and goes right down.)

First we tried going in to her room as quickly as we could. Then we tried a graduated crying method. Then one night when Peter was gone to work I ignored her for 15-20 minutes while she cried. She still cried.

Then one day she decided that the stuffed giraffe that Grandma Lieber had bought her at the zoo was the Best new toy ever. (That may have been influenced by her newly-found-favorite-cousin Taylar's love for the same toy when she got it.) She had trouble going to sleep at nap time that day, so I went and grabbed her newly appreciated giraffe (I've named him Fred for her) and placed it in her arms. She went right to sleep. We haven't had a bad night since! Except tonight because she woke up from her after-church nap at 5pm and wasn't really ready for her regular bedtime at 7:30. Oh well.

Claire has also been on a SERIOUS coloring spree! She colors EVERY day for at least 30 minutes straight! She loves naming the colors, writing her name, naming and coloring in shapes, and drawing mommy, daddy, and our house.

Writing her name. She says all the letters, just not in the right order.

So happy to get her picture taken.

After smiling for a while it turns into this "smile."

She's started coloring things in all of the way! Not always inside of  the lines, but she definitely tries to get them all colored. She is also very concerned with choosing the right color.

Coloring Daddy.

We also did bubbles and side walk chalk outside a lot this week. The weather has just been perfectly mild. Hooray for the beginnings of summer!

So I think that is just about everything that happened this week. So much fun!